


The UFO Investigation League vs. Glitter Guns and Unicorns

by KylaraWritesFanfiction



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Aliens, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Epistolary, Halloween, Humor, M/M, Multi, not quite crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6810814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KylaraWritesFanfiction/pseuds/KylaraWritesFanfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire picks a weird week to stop smoking. UFO crash landings, super hot nerds, breaking into the Chancellor's office, Halloween parties and real actual aliens? DAMN IT COURF! Stop reading my journal</p>
            </blockquote>





	The UFO Investigation League vs. Glitter Guns and Unicorns

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a creative writing challenge in my writing group. Full prompt in End Notes. Once I saw it, I knew that there was no way this wasn't a Les Mis fic and of course Combeferre/Grantaire is the way to go. (Also I wrote it with all the names changed and DAMN IT COREY is so much less fun to write.)

**Saturday October 24, 2:51 am**

I think I need to stop smoking.

**Saturday October 24, 2:55am**

I mean there’s high and then there’s REALLY high, and I got way too blazed tonight. What the hell was I even doing outside at 2 in the morning? And more importantly, what did I even take? Monty’s stuff must have been laced, because weed doesn’t usually make me hallucinate. And what I saw was too ridiculous to even write.

 **Saturday October 24, 3:02 am** Seriously though, I should probably quit. Writing out my anxieties and issues helped when I quit drinking. (Weed also helped me quit drinking.) So I’ll try it again. And Bahorel, if you ever read this, FOR THE LAST TIME IT’S A JOURNAL NOT A DIARY.

 

_Totally a diary bro._

Stop reading my JOURNAL.

_Stop leaving it where I can find it and I will._

 

 **Text From Courf Roommate:** RRRRRRR! Where r u? U didn’t come home last night!!!!

 **Text from Grantaire:** Spent the Night at Bahorel’s. Why are you texting so early?

 **Text from Courf Roommate:** I waited until after noon!!! I’ve been awake for hours. Did you see the link I emailed u? A UFO crashed landed in the woods behind our apartment!!!!!!!!!! We should totes go check it out l8r.

 

** UFO Identified: Weather Balloon Crashes on University Campus **

_Johnson City Explorer_

Flashing lights colored the sky purple orange and blue over Johnson City, early this morning. Multiple sources reported sightings of an unidentified flying object between two and three am. Several students staying in the off-campus housing complex Cedar Village filed complaints citing a large crash. Corroborating these reports, is Chief Fire Marshall Larry Robinson who was called upon to douse the flames that broke out upon the object’s crash landing.

An official statement was released this morning.

“Last night a weather balloon crashed into the woods behind Cedar Village. A small fire broke out. The area has been declared unsafe for now. Any student caught in the woods will be fined for trespassing.“

University officials have declined any further comment. As of right now, the area is still cordoned off. We have an inkling there is more to this story. Was it truly a Weather Balloon? None of the weather stations in the area has reported one missing. While some believers are holding out hope for extra-terrestrial contact, the most likely explanation is a prank or media stunt gone wrong. We will keep you up to date as the story unfolds.

 **Jason Kennedy:** Cover up!!

 **Cosette Fauchelevent:** Ikr. Do they think we’re stupid enough to believe it was a weather balloon?

 **Courfeyrac:** I live in Cedar Village and there was totally green and purple fire in the woods last night. THERE ARE FREAKING ALIENS MAN!!

 

**Saturday October 24 1:45 pm**

Oh my gosh. I may have actually seen a real life UFO crash land last night. I was literally in the woods. I honestly thought I was hallucinating. I’m still going to quit weed though.

**Saturday October 24 4:57 pm.**

Who knows how far away from me that thing was when it landed. What if I get radiation poisoning? Or cancer. What if I get cancer and then quitting weed is pointless because I have to take Medical marijuana?

 **Group Text from Courf Roommate:** Saturday Night at the Corinth!!! Be there or be lame bitches!!

 **Group Text from Joly Anatomy Class:** Musichetta, Bossuet and I are out of town this weekend. Sorry. We’re meeting Chetta’s parents. #nervous

 **Group Text from Grantaire:** I’ll be there. And who uses hashtags in text messages. #weirdo

 **Group Text from Eponine BFF:** Can’t. Working.

 **Group Text from Grantaire:** Ep, you work at the Corinth. We will literally see you there.

 **Group Text from Eponine BFF:** Yeah but I don’t want to compromise my coolness factor by associating with you freaks.

 **Group Text from Marius Stray Puppy:** Can’t. I met a beautiful angel and we’re going on a date.

 **Group Text from Courf Roommate:** Boo Marius! I wanted to see you try to Bump and Grind.

 **Group Text from Bahorel Boxing:** DEFINITELY COMING! I NEED TO GET DRUNK!!!!!!

 **Group Text from Bahorel Boxing:** And no one says bump and grind anymore, Courfeyrac you loser!

 

**Sunday October 25, 12:12 am:**

This is the earliest I have ever come home from the club, ever. I was cruelly abandoned by my friends. Seriously though, it was kind of a lame night. I stayed horribly sober the whole time, so yay me. I can’t stop thinking about that UFO thing. I think I’m gonna go check it out in the morning. Courf said he wanted to go with me, but I don’t know when he’ll be home.

He met this dude who does Performance Art over at the Musain. He actually said to me “They are so pretty Grantaire. And so limber. I think I want to propose.” I had to confiscate his high school ring. He was pretty drunk. And then I think I saw Bahorel flirting with some redhead.

I hope I’m not that lame when I meet someone. Which will probably happen never, knowing my life.

 

**Sunday October 25, 1:07 pm**

FFFFFFFFF my life. I met someone. He’s such a big nerd too. But so hot. In a sweater vest and glasses kind of way.

Ok, so I went to the crash site this morning. There is nothing there. No UFO or Weather Balloon or anything. Why would there be. They’ve had plenty of time to clean it up. But it was pretty obvious that something WAS there. The trees were burnt and damaged and there were skid marks.

Anyway, there was this guy there. He looked like he was about my age. At first I thought he was some kind of scientist guy, but it turns out he’s just THE BIGGEST NERD.

I was like “Hey man” and he turns around and shushes me and says “I’m trying to Tabulate the data.”

Those were his literal exact words.

We went out to coffee afterwards. I told him about seeing the thing land. I left out the part where I was high.

He is a pre-med student, his name is Combeferre and he is a card carrying member of the UFO Investigators League. Yes, I have a crush on a man who is a member of a group called UFOIL. And also I said yes when he invited me to the next meeting. Which is on Tuesday. And yes I’m going.

After we finished talking about aliens we argued for over an hour about political philosophy. It was awesome. He actually believes humanity is inherently good though…

 

_**OMG, he sounds like a precious snow leopard!!!! I want to meet him. Bring him to our Halloween party.** _

Damn it Courf! Guys Stop reading my journal.

_**Stop leaving it lying around.** _

 

**Tuesday October 27, 10:22 pm**

So going to that UFOIL meeting is surprisingly not the nerdiest thing I’ve ever done. The people there are normal. Mostly. Kind of. Well some of them. There was one guy actually wearing a tin foil hat. Like for real.

I met Combeferre there and it turns out he actually kind of runs the meetings. He waved at me circumspectly when I got there. I was a little late and he was standing in front of the room talking about the UFO crash or whatever. Something about a locked room in the science labs and the chancellor needing more school funding. I was mostly just sketching the whole time.

I did manage to talk to Combeferre afterwards. I invited him to the Halloween party. He said yes! There was a lot of blushing involved on both sides. He’s so cute. In this hot nerd way. Why is that even my type?

I also may have agreed to break into the science labs with him.

 

**Tuesday October 27, 10:43 pm**

Courfeyrac just came in to ask me if I’d written in my journal about the UFOIL meeting. And if he could read it. I said no, obviously. Courfeyrac is the only person I know who can actually pull off a flounce.

 

**Wednesday October 28, 12:20 pm**

Crap. What am I going to be for Halloween? Alien seems too obvious. Pirate? Hipster? I’ll decide tonight after studio.

I’ve been working on this one painting for two weeks. Why am I even an artist? Probably, my double major in philosophy will make me more money. #joke #yesIamwritinghashtagsinmyjournal #idowhatiwant

 

 **Text to Courf Roomate:** DAMN IT COURFEYRAC!!! Why the hell is our apartment covered in glitter?

 **Text to Grantaire:** accident w a glitter gun- Jehan  & I were working on halloween costumes

 **Text to Courf Roommate:** What could possibly require this much glitter?

 **Text to Grantaire:** We’re going as a Unicorn  & Unicorn Hunter. It’s a performance art thing

 **Text to Courf Roommate** : I don’t even want to know who is going as the unicorn.

 

**Friday October 30, 11:06 pm**

It turns out the big secret the chancellor is hiding in the science labs? A cat. Or possibly nothing and this is a stray cat.

Combeferre and I broke into the science labs tonight. We found no UFO or Weather Balloon, but we did find this adorable little cat who was stuck inside the building. Who I’ve decided to adopt. Oh my gosh she’s purring right now.

We named her Ripley. It was Combeferre’s suggestion because “She could be an alien from a planet inhabited solely by cats.”

He wanted to break into the Chancellor’s office to look for more proof. I suggested that maybe instead of B& E we go out for Italian instead. We did. Ugh we were adorable. It was disgusting. And awesome.

He walked me home. We may have kissed. Best night ever.

 

_**Can’t wait to meet him tonight** _

Damn it Courf, this was literally hidden in the back of my closet.

 

**Saturday October 31, 4:15 pm**

I decided on Greek God. I happened to have a bunch of stuff lying around from an art project last semester. Combeferre’s picking me up soon. We’re going out to eat then going to the party. I don’t want to be overly optimistic, but things are going well.

**Saturday October 31, 4:42pm**

Is Greek God too obvious? I should change. Why the hell did I pick this costume?

Too late now. He’s here.

 

 **Group Text from Courf Roommate:** PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Starting soon. See everyone at the Musain.

 **Group Text from Courf Roommate:** Whoever comes will get to meet R’s new BF!!

 **Group Text from Joly Anatomy Class** : R has a boyfriend?! I need details. We’ll be there late, bc Chetta had to work today.

 **Group Text from Grantaire:** Damn it Courf. He’s not my bf yet. Things are going well, so you better not ruin it.

 **Group Text from Marius Stray Puppy:** I’m bring my new girlfriend, Cosette. She is everything beautiful and good in this world.

 **Group Text from Eponine BFF:** Ugh. Pass.

 **Group Text from Bahorel Boxing:** !!!!!! BRINGING A FRIEND!

 **Group Text from Combeferre:** How did you get my number?

 

**Sunday November 1, 1:02am**

I think I met a literal alien last night and he is literally the hottest. What even is my life to meet two hot guys who both are maybe into me in the same week?!!

His name is Enjolras. Combeferre likes him too.

I was joking around and I asked him if we should take him to our leader and he said “No, because your leader is capitalist scum oppressing the masses. We need to educate the young people to rise up and bring peace.”

He is literally here to start a revolution. We suggested he start with a social justice group. Combeferre volunteered to help since he has experience running a student organization. It will never work, but if anyone could change the world it is a literal alien from outer space. (Honesty time: I didn’t believe him at first, but let’s just say, he showed me and Combeferre some literal proof. We are now very intrigued in pursuing a relationship with him.)

My boyfriend is the best. (I asked him and he said yes!!)

Now I should stop writing and get back into bed with Combeferre. My boyfriend. (Because he's spending the night. Aw, yeah!)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> 1\. Use all the following in your story: a unicorn hunter, a planet inhabited  
> entirely by cats, a glitter gun  
> 2\. Use all the following in your story: a high school ring, a diary, and a crashed UFO  
> 3\. Use all the following words in your story: limber, tabulate, inkling, grind, flounce, circumspect, doused
> 
> I did all three :)


End file.
